Lesson to my kids:
DON’T BE A VICTIM IN YOUR OWN LIFE.
My daughter does not read books. It drives me nuts. She struggles at school but it is not due to a lack of effort. IF SHE WOULD JUST READ, it would increase her comprehension so much. We all know this.
So, I kind of lost my plot on her when I found out that a book that she started at the end of June still isn`t finished!!!
Her response started with puppy dog eyes and a furrowed brow saying `but I don`t have time mom`.
A bit of a back story on her is that on top of school she has quite a bit of homework, and as I said, academia doesn`t come easy so it can be a longish process, plus she is a competitive swimmer so she is in the pool upto 9 times a week. She LOVES swimming and she puts in the effort to make this all work. So, when she pulled that line on me I agreed and sympathised with her for a second.
I TOTALLY BOUGHT INTO HER STORY.
But really, where could we possibly go from that belief?
After I left her a little while to cool off, because the discussion didn`t end with her little statement, I then challenged her and it resulted in a lot of head wagging and snarky looks (her, not me, promise), we automatically found the point where we should part company temporarily.
Anyways, once the tension was broken I pointed out to her that when she has a victim mentality of having `not enough` free time she runs the risk of making choices from a reactionary perspective and as far as I could see there would be the danger of making a bad choice.
However, if she changed her perspective to one that she has a full life doing the swimming she loves and getting well deserved results from school because of the effort she puts in, then she is in a far more powerful position to handle her time and outcomes.
I saw in her face what this change in perspective did for her. She seemed to become taller right in front of me. She instantly appreciated everything she has. Sure she is busy and she loves it. This perspective had her focus on what she has and not on what she doesn`t.
So, what are the chances that that lesson sank in and we won`t be here again?