April 2016 – Vicky Burnett

Month: April 2016

Don’t Let $100 Upset Your Inner Critic

What if I said you could be getting an extra $100 per week?

Easy money……..yes please!!!!!

Nobody said easy, but it is possible to earn an extra $100 per week. There is something that you can do that other people can’t do or aren’t willing to do and would be happy to pay you for.

If you understand numbers there are a slew of solopreneurs that need what you know.

If you are crafty, there is a huge market of people wanting pretty things that don’t know how to make it for themselves.

In the last 24 hours alone I’ve heard of one woman earning money auditioning for voice overs from her home and another whose artwork was discovered on Fiverr and was commissioned for more expensive pieces ($20K’s worth – wow).

If you can sew, cook, walk dogs, have an eye for fashion, or a green thumb, then there are people that will pay you for what you can do for them.

Wait. I can’t hear you over the barrage of reasons that are going off in my head right now as to why I COULDN’T POSSIBLY do such a thing. Do you hear it too?

Some are aggressive ‘YOU DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THAT”, some are dismissive “there’s people already doing this”, some are mocking, “as if I could really do that!”

Thoughts like that keep you right where you were to start. If it’s easy money I’M IN, otherwise I’m afraid I’ll have to pass.

That Inner Critic voice would get you on the other side too if you start dreaming of how you could spend that extra $100 per week.

If you even think about spending that extra money on anything other than bills, debt repayment or on the kids then that voice will get really hoity.

“But I really want to buy something for myself.” “Maybe the next $100.”

Thoughts create actions so make sure your Inner Critic doesn’t get to run around like a toddler with a knife. Kindly disarm the Critic and continue with what you were doing. Check out my other posts on this subject (including some suggestions on how to deal with your Critic) here, here, here and here.

You truly can have more of what you want in your life.

You just have to handle your Inner Critic and go for it. You’re worth it.

Hugs, Vicky xx

What Do I Do When It Feels Like My Inner Critic Is Telling The Truth?

Sneaky little devil. That Inner Critic can be so smooth in its approach. When it tells you that you don’t have the time / money / qualifications it is just soooo easy to agree with it and go back to what you were doing.

I recently got an injury that took me out of a running race so I hesitantly decided to train for a triathlon this summer instead. I would love to say I’m a born athlete but if I’m honest this whole endeavor is vanity based. If I don’t have a race to train for I will absolutely, without a doubt, do NOTHING. And with the way I hock back food, doing nothing is a bad plan.

So, to get back into triathlon training, I have the run covered but I need to get back into the water and on a bike. I have had to battle my inner critic on these.

A few years ago my neighbours daughter had to teach me how to do front crawl, so you can imagine what thoughts come up when I think about getting in the water.

I also feel like a weak rider who would never ever consider taking a hand off my handle bars to take a drink, I grip those handle bars like my life depends on it. So, again, the inner critic asks me “what am I thinking going out on the roads with a bike?”

So, here’s what my inner critic has tried to throw at me so far:

You don’t have time to train in 3 sports. You look awful in a swimsuit. You’ll have to wear nose plugs and look silly. You should only go on your bike at 6am when no cars are around. You’ll probably fall off your bike at least once. You could get hit by a car. Is this really worth it? You’ll be last in the swim, it may not be worth it.

There are some legitimate concerns there. Hard to argue with time crunching and getting crunched by a car. So, how do I differentiate between inner critic and being realistic?

The easiest answer is, my inner critic makes nervous statements with no room for inquiry. My inner critic is not open for a discussion on the matter. It’s purpose is to get me back in my safe space asap.

If I were being realistic I would take the time to ask questions, look for solutions, and then decide, as neutrally as possible, what the outcome should be.

There is very little in life we can truly control. It’s true I could get hit by a car (especially as to how close they drive by me) and I have chosen a low traffic time to train. Although I cannot control the outcome of my biking on the road, I can choose to take realistic precautions and not let this limit what I want to do.

So, the next time you are tempted to believe you inner critic when it reasons with you as to why you can’t go after what you want, make sure to bring out curious questions that will look for solutions. Give yourself the gift of having a lot more information at hand before you believe what your inner critic is telling you. You are worth it.

Hugs, Vicky xx

You 1 – Mean Girl 0

The mean girl we are talking about is the one in your own head. Also known as Inner Critic, Saboteur or Gremlin.

It actually feels a little unfair to refer to the voice in my head as a mean girl. I’ve experienced a real life mean girl and she humiliated me, laughed at me, ganged up on me and conspired to make me feel small.

I don’t relate that to the voice in my head. Sure she can be loud and unkind, however, I feel her motivation is in my best interest.

I lived blissfully unaware of my Inner Critic for most of my life. It wasn’t until I trained as a Life Coach that the bubble burst – which was ultimately a good thing. Before this I believed what I was telling myself and led a relatively safe life. I enjoyed variety in my life but I wasn’t pursuing my dreams and ambitions.

My Inner Critic had no problem with me training and getting certified as a Life Coach. I have a passion for psychology and feel extremely capable in this role. However, when I decided to make a business of Life Coaching my Inner Critic has been a constant companion ever since.

Even as I write this post I have a running commentary telling me that nobody will read this far, that I’m not getting my point across very well and that nobody is interested in what I have to say. True or not, the commentary is of no help to me.

So, I created a printable worksheet which is part of my free Spring Clean Your Life program that is running through April. You can learn more about it here.

Check out the worksheet to get more acquainted with your Inner Mean Girl so you can better handle her and go after what is important to you.

Tame that Inner Critic and you’ll be surprised by the results. The trick is that you first have to recognize her. She will seduce you with reasons you should stay where you are, or make you believe you are incapable but use the worksheet to get to the truth, because your Inner Mean Girl / Critic is a little (lot) loose with the truth.

I’d love to hear how you are getting on. Come and share in the Facebook group.

Hugs, Vicky xxx

Why You Aren’t Reaching Your Goals

I have an extremely persistent child. She wears me down with questioning and reasoning and she is relentless in going for what she wants. She exhausts me and she is very smart.

She is not unlike the voice in our heads. Our Inner Critic.

Our Inner Critic is also extremely smart and knows exactly how to keep us precisely where we are now – safe, comfortable, not stretching ourselves. Our Inner Critic is good at her role and she has many ways of convincing us that she is right. She has many different arguments for us to listen to. It is often easier to go along with her than to fight with her.

I’d like to do a quick experiment with you. Today, in our Spring Clean Your Life Challenge, I released a “Goals” worksheet. It’s easy, write down a big goal for yourself.

Think about your goal. Notice what starts to go on inside your head.

Did you get to write down the big goal or did your Inner Critic get to you before you even got to writing? “There’s no point in thinking big”, “as if you have time for this”, “keep it easy so you can move onto something else instead”.

If you managed to write the big goal, what is your mind saying now? “Sure, we’ll start that tomorrow”, “I’m never going to be able to…..”, “I just need to be …….. first, and then I can do it”.

Listen to what your Inner Critic is saying to you. Without judgement. Just notice.

There are many ways to tackle your Inner Critic. As a life coach I’ll share a few I use but first I can’t stress enough that you need to first be aware of your Inner Critic, and know it is not telling you the truth. I have never had a coaching client that didn’t have their Inner Critic come up repeatedly in a coaching session and the client was totally unaware of it.

Once you are aware of your Inner Critic you take back your power from it and, more importantly, get to the truth.

Here’s how:

Firstly, you can thank and soothe your Inner Critic. Tell it you appreciate it trying to keep you safe but that “you got this”.

Secondly, you can look for the 5% truth in what it is saying. Ditch the part that is fear based and listen for that 5% wisdom, for example if it’s telling you that you have no idea what is involved in getting the promotion so don’t even try, you can pull out the wisdom that you have learning to do AND go for that promotion.

Thirdly, you can repeat what your Inner Critic says and respond. For example: “I notice you (Inner Critic) are saying I should eat the cake, and that it won’t make a difference in the long run. I made a commitment to myself and my actions DO matter in getting the results I want. Thanks, but no thanks to the cake.”

There are many ways to deal with the Inner Critic but I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH, you must be aware of it first.

So, get to work on dealing with yours and step out from under its protective dome. You know there’s something you’ve been waiting to go after. Go for it.

Hugs, Vicky xxxx

The Voice In Your Head

Ugghhh…..I’m tired, hitting snooze…..I can’t believe I hit snooze again, what’s wrong with me?…..will I never be able to commit to myself?……I look like crap……I didn’t give myself time to make a healthy breakfast, again!!!…….I’m never going to lose the extra weight I gained ……my car is such a mess, how hard is it to keep clean, it’s like 10 square feet – I’m so messy……my desk is not much better, I’m going to clean it now……what the…….I’ll clean tomorrow, I really am messy, or am I just “a mess”?……I don’t think i have the energy to get groceries…..no energy? pah, suck it up…..I look really chunky…..double chin AND wrinkles, is that even fair?….why is my hair so bad?……am I ruining my children?…..my wardrobe sucks… why am I still up?….I even failed at getting to bed at a decent time…..how hard is it to go to bed????…I’m crap.

Has anyone ever been as relentlessly mean to you as your own voice in your own head?

So much for loving yourself!! Can anyone actually do that with the mean girl chatter that never relents.

My chatter is what I started this post with.

And I truly believe that I’m a pretty awesome person.

Hard to believe with that tirade going off.

There are probably women that you know of that to look at them you would never guess that they have their own monologue going off in their own heads. Surely it’s not happening to them??

It sure is.

So, what are we going to do about it ladies?

Firstly, you have to be aware of it. You cannot correct a voice you have accepted.

Secondly, don’t accept it.

You will no longer be resigned to this way of speaking to yourself.

I’m not going to tell you to insert positive affirmation instead. That is one solution, but unless you truly believe the affirmation it falls flat and becomes something else that gets caught up in the negative chatter in your head.

Instead, try just noticing the thought. For example: “I notice I think I look like crap.” I find if I reframe my thought in this way, as opposed to just having the thought and accepting it as fact, my mind will often come to my defence. And if the thought doesn’t come naturally, I can purposely find something kind to say to myself.

If a friend was beating up on herself you would defend her. It’s time to put more attention on defending yourself.

It will take work. Being mindful always does. And you are worth it.