What do you think about swimming in a deep dark lake?

The water is cool and refreshing. It’s deep so the “seaweed” is a long way down, but it’s down there. The snapping turtles tend to stay by the docks but the 3′ long Muskie with their razor sharp teeth that slant to the backs of their mouths so they hook what they bite swim freely.

When I describe the lake like that I’m surprised any of us get into it, but we do. Hours of fun swimming and tubing off the back of the boat.

My 10 and almost 12 years old are competitive swimmers. It’s off season but on Monday they wanted to get a workout done. We were at the cottage so their only option was the lake.

Stay with me, there’s a thinking trick we will all benefit from.

So, off we peddled on the paddle boat to a “safe” spot about 100′ from shore where the weeds were too deep to be seen. After some nervous chatter and a count down they were in.

I’m so impressed, they’re off and I’m starting to feel a little panicked because I want to keep the paddle boat right up beside them because a) my babies are in the lake without their life jackets on, and did I mention the lake is deep and dark, and b) there are other boats on the lake and swimmers are practically invisible to them, but they’re really fast.

So, I’m peddling like mad, sweat starting to form on my brow and run down my back, my legs are burning and I’m swaying my body back and forth just to try and get some power behind my failing legs, when all of a sudden they stop.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Hang on, what happened to the workout? These kids do anywhere from 2000m to 7000m daily and we’ve gone about 20 strokes.

I’m going somewhere with this, I promise.

Last year our one daughter won a race across this. same. lake. And we got to keep the trophy for a whole year as proof!! So, what’s holding her back now?

She said it was different, because there were lots of other people doing the race too.

Here’s where I get excited – there’s a teachable moment here.

So, let’s fast forward past all the stopping, starting, negotiating, complaining, panting, sweating, muttering, cursing……and the kids were doing some starting, stopping and negotiation of their own too.

On land I got out some paper and pens and got to work on having them question their thinking.

Firstly they acknowledged they didn’t meet their goal of getting a good swim workout done. I then broke it down into questions for them.

What actions did you take that got you this result?

What feelings caused these actions?

What thoughts caused these feelings?

So now they were examining what happened and what got them there. The result they got was starting and stopping and ultimately giving up on their workout. The feelings that caused their actions were fear – of what was in the water. The thoughts they were having was that something might touch them and then they’d panic.

The next set of questions were:

What is a more helpful thought you could have?

How will this help you achieve a better result next time?

When we get off autopilot, our brains reeeeeaaallllly like autopilot by the way, we can be aware of our thoughts and – here’s the great part – change them!!!

I use this technique so much now.

So, next time you aren’t getting the results you want, work it backwards:

What ACTIONS are you taking?

What FEELINGS are behind the actions (or lack of actions)?

What THOUGHTS are causing those feelings?

The deeper you can go and the more honest you can be with yourself the more gold you will find. And when you know better, you can do better.

Give it a try (or 10), you are worth it.

Hugs, Vicky xx