Month: April 2014

I’m guessing; you’re too soft

I’m not talking soft around the middle, although who doesn’t wish for some extra firmness around there?!? I’m talking about softening the negative stuff so you don’t have to do anything about it.

Some of my clients are extremely motivated to make big changes, and the more honest they are, the better their results. Easy – yes? Well actually no!

It is much easier to soften the edges of a hard truth.

The self care swing says “don’t be so hard on yourself”, “be kind”, “be gently”. All good advise, just not when you are trying to make a change.

Lets take that soft middle that we started out talking about. If you really want to lose 40lbs then softening the edges, by reasoning that you still have a month until summer, or that you aren’t as heavy as your sister, or that your yoga pants still fit so all can’t be that bad, lets you off the hook. It lessens your resolve to change.

So, what’s a girl with a tendency for softness to do?

What about this for a visual? A board of Snakes and Ladders.

The winning square on the board is the change you want to happen. The snakes are all the pitfalls on the way there that slide you in the opposite direction of where you want to be.

When you reach a square with the head of a snake you must:
1. Be aware. The snake is a snake and not a fun slide with a foam pit at the bottom – no more softening – it WILL take you in the wrong direction.
2. Remember. What makes climbing the ladders worthwhile? What is it you want and why is it important to you?
3. Check your thoughts. What thoughts do you need to be having to carry out the actions that will keep you climbing?

We all wish our progress looked like a steady straight line incline to our ultimate goal but real life looks a lot more like a game of Snakes and Ladders.

The beauty of real life is that you have a lot more control than the roll of a dice.

So, keep it real and honest. Plan for the climbs and welcome the challenges. It all starts with a change in mind.

Do the work. You’re worth it.

Hugs, Vicky.

Take the Test: Are you a Goose or a Crab?

I often get sucked into the time warp that is Facebook. And right now there are a slew of people doing quizzes to discover what animal / colour / planet they are. Seemingly enjoying the feedback from these micro personality tests which may (or may not) hold valuable insight.

 

Anyways, no test here – sorry if I sucked you in on promise of getting more insight into yourself, but if you stay a while you might get some insight anyway, just YOU will have to do the internal search instead of a pre-typed paragraph with supposed sixth sense abilities.

 

I do enjoy when a speaker includes a story to illustrate a point. Recently I heard 2, each having an animal analogy to enhance their stories.

 

The first talk was a lady motivating kids to find the leader within. She had so much energy it was infectious. You could see the children captivated by her. I was too, but not so captivated that I didn’t miss this great fact about Geese (you never know what you’ll learn at a leadership talk).

 

Geese work as a team.

They fly in formation (for practical bird reasons) and at some point in the flight the leader passes off the leader role, this is practical because it’s the most exhausting place to fly – at the front, but also it allows less experienced Geese a learning opportunity to lead the flock. AND, if one of the Geese is injured and needs to land, they aren’t left to fend for themselves like an emotional Wild Cat documentary I watched, no, 2 experienced fliers will land with the injured bird and then the 3 will join up with another flock when all is good again.

 

Canadian Geese are quite a pain in the rear if you ask me. I have Goose poo all over my lawn when they come to visit. And they can be vicious. I’d rather face oncoming traffic to avoid running too close to a Goose. Anyway, my issues aside, I have a huge newfound respect for Geese. What civilized creatures they are.

 

Crabs on the other hand…. I listened to a second speech which enlightened me to the fact that if you put a single crab in a bucket they will likely escape but if you put several crabs in a bucket – not one will get out. Why? Because as soon as one starts to make headway another will pull it back down to suffer the same fate as the rest. Crazy!

 

So I’m guessing by this point you identify with the Goose. But be honest, don’t you get a little crabby?

 

And how often have you been on the receiving end of a crabby woman? (Guys can be crabby too, but I’m more concerned with women supporting women right now).

 

And what about when you experience a combination of the two? Let’s say you have a friend that is all Goosy while you are down on your luck or life is going along as normal, but turns Crabby when you get some good fortune. What do you do with that?

 

Well, the easy answer is “don’t take it personally”, she’s behaving badly because she feels badly about how it reflects on her life. I say that is the “easy” answer because “HOW CAN SHE BEHAVE LIKE A TOTAL CRAB, NOW, AFTER ALL THAT WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH???” is what you are fuming over right now.

 

Likewise, if you find yourself lacking Goosy goodness and on the wrong side of Crabby callousness, if you dare, analyze what about her news / situation is making you feel bad. Sounds like a change needs to happen.

 

Are you ready???