The comfort zone – a beautiful thing – or is it?
I shouldn’t need to say much about the comfort zone. It’s an extremely familiar place for us all. However, we are not always a self-aware bunch so a few pointers may get us inspired.
Firstly the definition of Comfort Zone:
A place or situation when one feels safe or at ease and without stress.
It does sound great. And suspiciously like a vacation. My experience is that comfort zone living does not guarantee ease and lack of stress. So, where’s the benefit?
Comfort zone living to me means that you have a set of routines and beliefs and behaviours that keep you within a bubble which you have set up to be as protective as possible.
As we begin to understand that getting out of our comfort zone is nothing more than stepping over limits that we set ourselves, let’s look at those 5 benefits of doing so.
Growth – because you haven’t done growing yet.
Nothing grows in a Comfort Zone. Homeostasis is a weed in this garden stopping any new seeds from being planted. Life grows where attention flows (I just hacked a perfectly good Wayne Dyer quote to try and metaphor this up for you – 3 in a row, are we done you ask). Ok, no more metaphors – maybe.
You get to decide what direction you are heading.
Even in your comfort zone you cannot control the people, circumstances and events that will undoubtedly happen. “Going with the flow” sounds very chill, until you realize (if you are lucky) way down the river that this wasn’t the way you wanted to go or the place you wanted to end up. When you finally ask “how did I get here?” you will have wished you’d taken control of your own direction long ago. Again, I stress “if you are lucky”, as some people won’t come to this realization until they truly are too old to make a difference, which is actually a sneaky way of still staying in your comfort zone, however, now you are keeping company with “regret”.
You will be able to set goals and achieve them.
When you are firmly entrenched in your comfort zone you will either give up on dreams and goals at the first sign of difficulty or you will set easy to obtain goals which don’t make you go any further than skirting the outside of your comfort zone. With a little preparation (which we will cover next time) you will feel fear (unavoidable), you will feel resistance (now we know it’s important) and you will go ahead anyway because you are deeply connected to why you are getting this uncomfortable in the first place.
You will have a new found confidence.
In 1993 at the age of 18 I decided to go to France instead of University. My French was not great and I knew NOBODY. I lived with a family as their au-pair. I was a status symbol as they owned restaurants and didn’t actually put in too many hours. So, their kids were nightmares because with mom and dad at home they felt they didn’t have to listen to the “au-pair”. I spent every evening in my room. I tried to spend time with the parents but they ignored me. I had to be creative and resourceful in order to meet people and be social. I did make friends and we would take our only day off and visit places like Monaco and Cannes. We would stay out all night and catch morning buses back to our jobs. To say I was out of my comfort zone was an understatement. To say I learned A LOT about myself and grew my confidence in my own capabilities is also an understatement. It was the best of times and the worst of times. My memories are still so strong, 23 years later, and nostalgic of France and the experiences I had and also I remember the sting of feeling like a second class citizen – just the help – almost invisible. LIFE LESSONS GALORE!!!! And it had me poised and ready to leap when a really fantastic guy came to England, where I’m originally from, swept me off my feet and asked me to move to Canada with him. We have been married 19 amazing years and I truly believe the confidence I gained from my time in France made my decision to come to Canada not an impossible decision.
You will have new things to talk about.
I don’t know about you, but at this stage in my life I am bored of shallow conversation. I have been many places where the office / group culture has become to complain and gossip. Now imagine a place where people were making conscious efforts to get out of their comfort zones somewhere in their life. They may ask for advice (who doesn’t love giving their advice?!?) Or seek idea’s and encouragement. Making a change in yourself will have a ripple effect on everything around you. Pay attention, you may get to love this new energy.
And getting out of your comfort zone doesn’t have to mean a forward leap. Sometimes it actually means staying put. Not bolting at the first sign of negative feelings or discomfort. There is a lot of growing and learning in staying put.
I have trained myself to recognize my “zone outs”, like Facebook, food and Netflix. This is step one. Step one took work (because there are actually more like 30 zone outs) but now it comes more naturally. Step two – I don’t like step two – but I’m making myself go back to where I was before the zone out. Aaaaannndddd I’m still figuring out step three. But let me tell you, this alone is changing my life.
So, in finishing off, I’d like to add, I don’t believe in constantly living outside of your comfort zone but I do think it is a muscle that is in need of regular exercise. And by regular, your Life Coach Vicky is recommending daily.
And you will have a chance to practise this later in March when we do the 10-day challenge – whoop, whoop.
Let me know in the comments or in the Facebook group what you want to know about Courage & Comfort Zones and I will make a blog post with the answers.
This is important work and you are worth it.
Hugs, Vicky x
Make sure you don’t miss any future posts like this by signing up for our free program “Year of Growth”. Find out more about it here or sign up below.