Now I’ll add a bit of grammar (don’t message me if I get it wrong :)).
“I don’t know!!”
How to help you……
Coaching clients commonly answer “I don’t know” to my questions. When I dig deeper 98% of the time they TOTALLY DO KNOW. So what prompts this answer which stops the learning?
It is the easiest answer to give.
They are not being lazy or flippant. Their brains are doing what they are supposed to do – take the easiest path. With all the millions of decisions your brain is making every day which don’t require your conscious effort, it will absolutely try and avoid the deep thinking.
I don’t let that brain get away with short cutting, because getting a client to discover their own answers is incredibly powerful work.
Do you want to learn how to coach yourself to avoid giving yourself the “I don’t know answer?”
It takes practice and dedication because NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) is a fact, you will follow the path most travelled, which means it’s easy to fall back into old habits.
The answer is actually quite simple, it’s the implementation that is more difficult.
Ask yourself better questions.
As a coach I’m trained to ask questions, but alone in my head I still sometimes ask dead end questions.
Why do you let that person talk to you/treat you like that?
It is way too easy to answer “I don’t know”, resolve to do better next time and move on. Hey, I’m very efficiently moving away from the discomfort of the WHOLE situation. Crafty move, yes?
How likely do you think there will be a repeat of being spoken to or treat badly?
What if you did know why you let that person treat you like that? Or what would be your best guess as to why?
These are extremely simple follow up questions to “I don’t know” and they are extremely effective. The client, in this case yourself, realizes that they aren’t getting off the hook and look a little deeper, almost always coming up with an answer, something that they can work on.
We let ourselves off the hook a lot. And that’s OK when it’s not important. When it is important, when something is having a negative affect on our lives, it is in our best interest to get the answers which allow us to move forward.
Other questions to try;
What is it costing me to continue to allow this?
How will life be better if I make a change?
Who must I become to make the change?
What is a better way of looking at this?
What action must I take to get the result I want?
If I still don’t know, what must I do to find out?
Even if you truly still don’t know, change your self-talk, and when talking to others, to “I don’t know YET”.
People may picture huge acts like skydiving when talking about courage and comfort zones, but I know that staying present with yourself, asking better questions, and sticking around to answer them require great courage and take us waaaay out of our comfort zone.
And so I have made you a printable.
A 10 day challenge. Click here to download your copy. You state what you want to change and track it for 10 days.
And if you love a challenge make sure to sign up for our April “Spring Clean your Life” Challenge. 30 days, 30 questions. It gives you a chance to think about parts of your life that you live on auto pilot. We cover how you spend time, money, what you wear, where you live, what makes you happy, and so much more – 30 days worth of it.
And you get worksheet printables daily, which can be completed in under 5 minutes or you can do the “dig deeper” sections. You’ll get great value either way. Even better value because you will get all this for free. At the end of the month I will be packaging up the worksheet printables and selling them and you get to work on them AND get support in the facebook group at no cost.
All you have to do is click the link below to learn more and join.
https://vickyburnett.leadpages.co/april-30-day-challenge/
As always, I’d love to hear how you are getting on.
Do the work. It’s important. And SO ARE YOU!
Hugs, Vicky xxx