It was clear what was expected of us as kids back in the 80’s….
“Stay in school. Say NO to drugs.”
It was clear what was expected of us after leaving school in the 90’s….
Meet a nice boy. Get married. Have babies. Oh, and work your tush off so you can get the house with the picket fence .We weren’t encouraged to focus on dreams and fulfillment – 2.4 children and picket fence – STAY FOCUSED!!!
The only remaining major landmark event between raising children and shuffling off the mortal coil – retirement.
The ultimate prize of a life of hard work. To sit around doing……..who the hell knows???
But hang on a minute!!! Back to a more pressing point.
My kids are getting really freakin’ independent, nowwww.
Apart from feeding themselves and getting from one place to another – apparently I’m still in charge of those departments – they’re fine, thank you very much.
What? Huh? What do you mean?
Well……..ok. But, I’m here if you need meeeeeee.
Still here….. Now what? There’s about 20 years between now and retirement.
Well. It looks like we’re getting…..
A Second Kick At The Can
We’re still young and agile enough to really change the course of our lives. How awesome is that?!?! WE’RE READY FOR THIS.
The easy thing to do would be to stay lost in the absence of our kids needing us. To wait around hopefully for another chance to be the hero in their lives. WE CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS, AND BE MORE INSPIRING TO SAID KIDS.
We know this role of motherhood. It’s comfortable and rewarding. We’re so close to perfecting it after so many years. My schooling in motherhood has been longer and harder than any other schooling. WE CAN LEARN NEW THINGS.
I knew this role meant that the better I got at it the more I’d be demoted. I knew it would lead to part-time.
Doesn’t mean I have to like it……..yet.
My eldest has triggered the first demotion. My middle child has even cut me back a few hours. My youngest is enjoying the benefits of a mother with less hands-on mothering to do for her siblings, but she doesn’t really need too much of me. I just love that she WANTS me.
So, I’m planning now for my
Wait!!! Wait a minute….I interrupt this message for the fact that as I type this I am at my kids (5am!!!!) swim practice. Middle child just waved at me during a kick set!!!! She acknowledged me!!!! Oh the scraps I cling to. Don’t care……loved it!!!
As I was saying, I’m now planning for me.
I’m putting myself back on my priority list.
As I raise my head from the hard focus of mothering I am questioning a lot of things.
How am I spending most of my time? How would I prefer to spend my time?
What’s my purpose? What do I have to contribute?
Who do I want to be? What do I dream of doing?
Where do I want to live? Where do I want to travel to?
The questions are the easy part. Spending the time to answering them and taking the actions to fulfill them is where the work really is.
And that’s a whole other post. Stay tuned. Better yet, subscribe, if you aren’t already so you don’t miss life coaching moments that will help you put yourself back on your priority list.
You’re worth it.
Hugs, Vicky xxxxx
Erin
February 16, 2017 at 8:38 pm (8 years ago)Boy do I relate! While I look to the day when it’s just me and my hubby, I know I will really struggle with my kids being “gone”. I recently receive a job offer and when I asked my teens if they thought it would be ok if I took it (been home for 5 months) they were so excited… they don’t need me. Broke my heart. But that is the price we pay for doing such a great job at raising them. Doesn’t mean we have to like it. Xo