You are committed. You are ready. You are getting courageous and leaving your comfort zone. But wait!!! Your positive thinking and motivation is already starting to wane. What now?

My husband likes to run 100 miles (160 kms) at a time. He is an ultra-marathoner.

After months of training he lines up at the starting line nervous, excited and ready to run. His thoughts are positive and he is motivated. Very motivated.

Over the next 20 or more hours he will run the gamut of thoughts and feelings. He will be mentally and physically tested.

When every part of his body hurts, from exhaustion, blisters, chaffing and more exhaustion, there is no positive talk. There is NO talk. So what keeps him going? With many miles to go, the finish line is un-motivatingly far away.

As we sat in a racer and crew meeting in the beautiful town of Leadville, Colorado, prior to the 100 mile Leadville race last August, the organizers gave a pep talk. As an experienced ultra runner himself he shared his wisdom with a room of 600 rookie and experienced runners, of which only half would finish this gruelling race over 6 mountain peaks.

He encouraged the runners to keep close to mind why you came to run this race, because:

MOTIVATION WILL DESERT YOU

So, what WILL get you there?

PASSION. PURPOSE. VALUES.

It is what you feel at your core that will get you to your finish line. It is what is truly important to you that will fuel you. Motivation will return when you keep these thoughts and feelings close to hand.

Let’s look at this another way.

You have a plan. You are putting your health first. You are tired of feeling tired and wish to be active and healthy now and still be going strong beyond your 70’s. You will eat better and exercise regularly.

On this particular day you find yourself tired after a day of work. It’s cold / rainy / dark outside. Your couch and Netflix are winking you over and telling you to bring a glass of wine because you’ve had a long day. You pause, silent for a moment, waiting for motivation to call you in the other direction. What!?! Where is motivation when you need it? You’d even settle for a morsel of it’s energy right now. You neeeeed that morsel!!!!

Pep talks, motivational quotes and positive thinking are all great tools, however, they are quick fixes. They may get you to the gym once or twice after a wink from the couch, but ultimately, with this as your primary solution, your couch will get to see more of you than it deserves.

If your goal is to ditch 10lbs fast then relying on quick fixes may get you there, however, how many times do we hear of people putting back on the weight, and more?

If you have made a mindful decision to honour your values of active living, treating your body with the respect it deserves and learning to nourish your body with whole foods then you have very deep reasons to fall back on when motivation deserts you and positive thoughts weren’t even present when you stepped out of bed this morning, never mind now at the end of the day! When you are connected to your values and purpose you live every day following them and the goal becomes a directional beacon and not the ultimate and only show of success.

Whether your goals are BIG;

To end hunger in your country. That may or may not ever happen in your lifetime. However, living by your value of helping people feed themselves can be lived EVERY day. Even if from behind a computer screen by showing people how to stretch a dollar to feed their family.

Or your goal is “seemingly” small;

To get your family to the dinner table, all together, without any devices so you can talk. Again, maybe not in your lifetime ;-). However, if your value is connection you may be able to engage the family by asking advise on the newest Apps / music / best Instagram feeds for fashion / etc.

Living daily your purpose, passion and values is what brings the motivation back to help you keep moving in the right direction.

As for positive thinking, I think it’s a “nice to have” not a “must have”. Don’t get into more judgement because it’s been M.I.A for a bit.

Do your best to stay motivated and take it one step at a time.

Hugs Vicky xxx

The comfort zone – a beautiful thing – or is it?

I shouldn’t need to say much about the comfort zone. It’s an extremely familiar place for us all. However, we are not always a self-aware bunch so a few pointers may get us inspired.

Firstly the definition of Comfort Zone:

A place or situation when one feels safe or at ease and without stress.

It does sound great. And suspiciously like a vacation. My experience is that comfort zone living does not guarantee ease and lack of stress. So, where’s the benefit?

Comfort zone living to me means that you have a set of routines and beliefs and behaviours that keep you within a bubble which you have set up to be as protective as possible.

As we begin to understand that getting out of our comfort zone is nothing more than stepping over limits that we set ourselves, let’s look at those 5 benefits of doing so.

Growth – because you haven’t done growing yet.

Nothing grows in a Comfort Zone. Homeostasis is a weed in this garden stopping any new seeds from being planted. Life grows where attention flows (I just hacked a perfectly good Wayne Dyer quote to try and metaphor this up for you – 3 in a row, are we done you ask). Ok, no more metaphors – maybe.

You get to decide what direction you are heading.

Even in your comfort zone you cannot control the people, circumstances and events that will undoubtedly happen. “Going with the flow” sounds very chill, until you realize (if you are lucky) way down the river that this wasn’t the way you wanted to go or the place you wanted to end up. When you finally ask “how did I get here?” you will have wished you’d taken control of your own direction long ago. Again, I stress “if you are lucky”, as some people won’t come to this realization until they truly are too old to make a difference, which is actually a sneaky way of still staying in your comfort zone, however, now you are keeping company with “regret”.

You will be able to set goals and achieve them.

When you are firmly entrenched in your comfort zone you will either give up on dreams and goals at the first sign of difficulty or you will set easy to obtain goals which don’t make you go any further than skirting the outside of your comfort zone. With a little preparation (which we will cover next time) you will feel fear (unavoidable), you will feel resistance (now we know it’s important) and you will go ahead anyway because you are deeply connected to why you are getting this uncomfortable in the first place.

You will have a new found confidence.

In 1993 at the age of 18 I decided to go to France instead of University. My French was not great and I knew NOBODY. I lived with a family as their au-pair. I was a status symbol as they owned restaurants and didn’t actually put in too many hours. So, their kids were nightmares because with mom and dad at home they felt they didn’t have to listen to the “au-pair”. I spent every evening in my room. I tried to spend time with the parents but they ignored me. I had to be creative and resourceful in order to meet people and be social. I did make friends and we would take our only day off and visit places like Monaco and Cannes. We would stay out all night and catch morning buses back to our jobs. To say I was out of my comfort zone was an understatement. To say I learned A LOT about myself and grew my confidence in my own capabilities is also an understatement. It was the best of times and the worst of times. My memories are still so strong, 23 years later, and nostalgic of France and the experiences I had and also I remember the sting of feeling like a second class citizen – just the help – almost invisible. LIFE LESSONS GALORE!!!! And it had me poised and ready to leap when a really fantastic guy came to England, where I’m originally from, swept me off my feet and asked me to move to Canada with him. We have been married 19 amazing years and I truly believe the confidence I gained from my time in France made my decision to come to Canada not an impossible decision.

You will have new things to talk about.

I don’t know about you, but at this stage in my life I am bored of shallow conversation. I have been many places where the office / group culture has become to complain and gossip. Now imagine a place where people were making conscious efforts to get out of their comfort zones somewhere in their life. They may ask for advice (who doesn’t love giving their advice?!?) Or seek idea’s and encouragement. Making a change in yourself will have a ripple effect on everything around you. Pay attention, you may get to love this new energy.

And getting out of your comfort zone doesn’t have to mean a forward leap. Sometimes it actually means staying put. Not bolting at the first sign of negative feelings or discomfort. There is a lot of growing and learning in staying put.

I have trained myself to recognize my “zone outs”, like Facebook, food and Netflix. This is step one. Step one took work (because there are actually more like 30 zone outs) but now it comes more naturally. Step two – I don’t like step two – but I’m making myself go back to where I was before the zone out. Aaaaannndddd I’m still figuring out step three. But let me tell you, this alone is changing my life.

So, in finishing off, I’d like to add, I don’t believe in constantly living outside of your comfort zone but I do think it is a muscle that is in need of regular exercise. And by regular, your Life Coach Vicky is recommending daily.

And you will have a chance to practise this later in March when we do the 10-day challenge – whoop, whoop.

Let me know in the comments or in the Facebook group what you want to know about Courage & Comfort Zones and I will make a blog post with the answers.

This is important work and you are worth it.

Hugs, Vicky x

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In the last couple of weeks we have been focusing on Dreams and Desires.

You were invited to ask yourself “What’s Your Dream?” When we have moved away from thinking deeply about what we want for our lives, it takes time and effort to get back to dreaming for ourselves and not just for others, namely our children.

Then we got into Dream Project Mode where we first had to acknowledge that our dreams won’t just turn up in a nice neat package at the door. Having clear visions of our dreams is extremely powerful and then we must get down to the work of making our dreams a reality.

Now I think it’s time for some momentum boosting.

I personally LOVE quotes. As an admitted waffler (I have edited this post about 6 times to save you from even more waffle), I love the summary of a powerful thought in a single sentence.

The best quotes bring up an emotion.

Either it makes me feel “hell yes!!!”, or gives me an AHA moment.

The following four quotes I have printed out and posted on my wall to give me visual inspiration and motivation when I feel in a slump.

Whether your dream is to own a sprawling horse ranch, be your own boss, or sing in front of a thousand people, if it doesn’t scare you, dream bigger.

The dreaming is the enjoyable part. It’s the work that comes with it that should be scary.

If you are a gazillionaire then dropping the money to buy the ranch and find the staff wouldn’t be a stretch. Being your own boss by starting an Equestrian Healing Centre and having to make yourself visible to get clients could scare the whatsits out of you AND THAT is what makes your dream “big enough”.

Pay attention to what scares you.

It is waaaaay too easy to see someones success and compare it to your beginning. DON’T. We are all living our own lives. Comparison is a rabbit hole you don’t want to be going down.

So, start on your own path now. Each step will get you closer.

Like the quote says, time is passing anyway, so you might as well be moving closer to your dreams.

Make an effort to do something everyday that will get you closer to your dreams.

No judgement here. Just a nudge to not be like most people.

And because we are still comparing, we can’t help ourselves, remember, just because someone has a nice house, fancy car and 3 vacations a year, a societal declaration on the dram life, it does not mean they are living THEIR dream. If they were dreaming of singing in front of adoring fans but do nothing more than sing in their own car then they run the risk of getting to the end of their life with that dream still inside them – never fulfilled.

The ONLY person who can make anything happen for yourself is you. You are the one ultimately responsible for your own happiness.

And I’m sure you are happy.

AND imagine your level of happiness fulfilling your dreams.

So, if you are ready to get working and you would like these inspirational quotes to print off and look at for inspiration get them by clicking the button below.

Click Here to Get Printables

Enjoy

Hugs, Vicky x

Have you noticed you act differently around different people? There are people you feel relaxed around and the conversation is sweet and mellow and you just want to grab a warm drink and find somewhere soft and cozy to sit while talking to them. Then there are people that seem to bring out the worst in you. You brace when you see them and your behaviour becomes as unpredictable as the next sentence out of your mouth because you are in reaction mode.

So, you’ve done a bit of work and figured out a part of who you are when you are alone. Now it’s time to take a sneaky peak at who you are around other people, because when you show up differently in different situations, there is a disconnect.

It had been a long time coming for me. I didn’t give too much thought to who I was around other people. I’ve always been aware of my impact on others. I didn’t consider how I changed in different people’s company and their impact on me.

And I changed like a chameleon. It depended on my surroundings. Around some people I was a big personality – almost “larger than life”, and others I’d shrink in front of. I can’t tell you how many times I replayed conversation in the shower of things I coulda / shoulda / woulda said. I was extremely put together and eloquent in my shower replays. And sometimes it was embarrassing because I was aware my husband was getting to witness me showing up differently and that would go against my value of authenticity and cause me shame.

And then I became a life coach. And self-awareness became one of my foundation blocks that needed some big-time attention. Knowing my values and what I wanted to take a stand for in the world started to make things and people that didn’t fit suddenly stand out a little. And then a lot.

Here are a few of the obvious behaviours to watch out for:

Becoming defensive / angry

Becoming childlike

Becoming bitchy

Becoming competitive

Becoming superior to

The triggers that get these behaviours to come out could be wide and varied. What is worthwhile doing is identifying who you become around certain people and then choose who you would rather be.

So, what’s a girl to do with these people? First I’d like to offer the question to you – how would the wisest part of you, the part that knows you so well and knows what is best for you and knows how you want to show up in the world, handle these situations?

My personal remedies have been to firstly figure out my triggers. Fear or the absence of courage are usually the pesky creatures at the centre of a lot of my bad behaviour. Most commonly the lack of courage stems from the fear that “taking a stand”, for me or what I believe in, will be a fast track to getting judged or dumped as a friend or bad mouthed or mis-understood or thought of as a bad person or ALL of the above.

As I work through this (continually), I realize the people who matter roll with it and accept my change and those that don’t can choose for themselves. I wish them well as we ALL have work to do on ourselves.

And talking about getting to work on ourselves, I have made you a simple printable to be able to get your thoughts out of your head (I know I work better that way) and redesign how you show up in your life.

Click Here to Get Worksheet

Because when you know better, you do better. You could even jot or doodle your values around the printable page to make sure you are honouring the most important part of you as you redesign your relationships.

As always, get in touch if you have any questions or just to let me know how you are getting on. And feel free to join the facebook group and share in there or ask for support. Hope to hear from you soon.

Vic x